Lessons

It's okay, Lord...to not know where I am going...as long as I am with you. But the only way I can follow you--in my darkness of not knowing--is to hold tightly to you. Even when I am following closely behind you--I will hit some bumps in the road. It will be messy...but I will follow...

Funny aside...I'm thinking of the movie When In Rome...you remember when they went into the dark restaurant? Even with a capable guide who could see in the darkness...the two wanna-be lovebirds were running into everything and everyone. (The funniest part was when they were touching the heads of the other unsuspecting patrons...and spilling their drinks...pretty funny!)

My problem has been walking in the dark and NOT holding on. I had so beat myself up in the tripping and falling that I was too wounded to go on. But You led me to the Balm of Gilead...the healing restoration needed to make me whole and learn to TRUST in the Process...TRUST in You...EMBRACE the Mystery...

I had been the blind leading the blind.  Therefore; to be led by me is erratic...out of step...where am I leading to?

It is truly time for me to lead myself--to learn to be the follower of You!

The movie When in Rome is such a good picture.  Just when I thought I found "Mr. Right" (my dreams and desires) there were bumps that lead me to question everything...so I stepped into the "fountain" and began grasping for coins. As I chose them, I became attached to the "coins" thinking, mocking, the process and events leading to that moment. 


The more attached I became to the coins--the more comfortable I became with them. They were no longer irritants but a pale reminder of "what could have been." 

You were there all along..."Mr.Right." Trying to woo me back to that place but I didn't trust You! I didn't know what tricks You had up your sleeve. I couldn't help myself--the drawing back was overwhelming. Something was happening--I wanted the real thing--I wanted to return the "coins" but it was difficult.

As I began to put them back in their rightful place I had more opportunity to hold on to YOU instead! You really wanted me! You really love me! You see something in me worth fighting for and You never stopped fighting.

The return to You, to learn to trust again, is so freeing. As I learn to trust You, I've been restored to right thinking and I can trust ME again. Trust in the TRUTH of You and Your WORD. That all I have is yours and You want all of me...just as I am!

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on you OWN understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him in all your ways AND HE will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6

Forgive me Lord for not acknowledging you...for not trusting you to lead me through the darkness. I give you my hand...raise my head to look to you even in my darkness--for even darkness is light to you!